Risque Business
by truevindication
Summary: Tony has to explain to Tim what he's walked in on after a horrible night and Ziva shows up on Tony's doorstep.


**Summary: After a bad night, Ziva ends up on Tony's doorstep.**  
**A/N: This can be seen as either a friendship piece or a Tiva flirt piece. Whichever works for you. :) Thanks to my lovely beta Foxtail-Padfoot.**

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"Oh. My. God."

"Tim, it's definitely not what it looks like."

"…Tony. How could this be anything but what it looked like??" Anthony DiNozzo, for one of the few times in his life couldn't find words to hurl at Timothy McGee. Standing in his hallway Tony just wanted his junior partner to erase what he had just seen. Tim stood there with his jaw on the floor, staring at the closed door he was just shoved out of. "This is…. Shocking. Hilarious. And kind of grotesque, all at once…"

"Probie, listen to me, sometimes… things just aren't what they seem." Though he was skeptical, McGee had no choice but to pick his jaw off the floor and stand silently. Besides, that was the most serious he had ever seen Tony's normally jovial expression.

Hearing a rather loud knock at his door Tony rolled over and glanced at his clock. _0100. Who the hell comes knocking at 0100. _Hoping they would go away he rolled over and covered his head with a pillow. The knocking continued.

"Tony! Wake up!" Opening one eye he could swear he heard Ziva outside his door. "DiNozzo! Wake up!" It was definitely Ziva outside his door. Pulling himself out of bed he rubbed his eyes as he pad footed to the irritated Israeli waiting for him. Cautiously peering through the peephole he had to contain his laughter.

"Ziva?" he asked as he opened the door slowly. "What the hell happened to you?" In front of him stood a small frame of a woman, covered from head to toe in muddy water. "Jesus Christ, come inside." He stepped aside and grabbed a nearby towel off his gym bag. She looked at it disgusted, "It's clean I promise."

"Thank you." She shivered like a wet rat, he noticed. Usually her demeanor is what gave her such a large presence, but now, in soaked clothes, hair matted to her from the mud, she seemed so… tiny.

"What happened?" he asked again, moving towards the kitchen. She started to peel off her jacket, tossing it towards the sink.

"I have just had the worst night _ever!_" She punctuated her word with the hard throw of her layered shirt. "First, I left my wallet at the restaurant during my lunch. Then, I get all the way home to realize I had left my phone in the van from today's case. Since I stayed so late to finish up all my reports I grabbed some money from my apartment and went to get food from Packo's Deli-"

"Ooh, the one up the street? I love that place!" She glared. "Sorry. Continue."

"So I finish eating, feeling better about this horrible evening, to find my car had been towed!"

"Why??" Tony felt for her, this was the worst string of luck anyone could have in one day. She shook her head at him nonchalantly, waving her hands.

"Something about a handicapped spot, but I swear it did not look blue to me!"

"Did it have the guy in the wheelchair painted on the ground?" She _tick tick tick_'d her tongue at him.

"The ground was not blue!"

As she was ranting he had put hot water on to boil and some food for himself in the microwave. He was up, might as well be productive and eat.

"So how did you find your way here…? Packo's has got to be a good three miles from here."

"Four and a half," she corrected. When I did not have money for a cab, or phone to call for a ride the owner said that phones were for customers only."

"But you just ate there!" She glared at him again, frustrated.

"_I know that_. But apparently he was just being tough as a screw."

"Nail."

"Whatever!" She was attempting to fuss with her hair and finally dropped her hands to her side in defeat. "I figured the walk would be fine, but then it started to rain. Packo's was the only place open at such a late hour and they would not let me use the phone, I had no other option but to walk, and your place was closest." She exhaled heavily, exhausted from her endeavor of a night.

"Listen," he walked over to her and rubbed her shoulders, partly for comfort and partly for warmth. "You are _ridiculously_ wound up right now, so why don't you just go and take a shower, you can borrow some of my clothes, there's clean laundry on the hamper."

"Please, Tony, just take me home?"

"You are **not **getting in my car like _that_."

"Fine, but if I shower and change, can you just give me a ride?" Her eyes begged him to help her just end this night quickly.

"You're more than welcome to stay here." Her eyes searched his for any suggestive undertones, but all she saw was a caring friend. When she said nothing he shrugged slightly. "Okay, shower and change first, the water will be boiled for some warm tea by then, and after you're back to normal ninja mode I'll give you a ride home."

She walked back into the kitchen 15 minutes later, almost silently. He turned and saw her in grey sweatpants, socks way too big for her little feet, and a white button up shirt.

"You did not have any regular t-shirts, but it is comfortable enough."

"It looks like it, you're practically swimming in it." She swatted his arm playfully and looked at the small table he had set. Simple enough, two cups of tea, some sweet bread and a half eaten bowl of soup. "I was hungry." He motioned to the chairs and she sat and enjoyed her tea, letting it warm her from the inside.

"When are you not hungry?"

"When I'm sleeping. But since _someone_ won't let me sleep, I'll eat." He grinned as he took a bite of the sweet bread, enjoying teasing her. "You know," he looked her up and down, "if we got you some sun glasses and maybe some boxers instead of those pants, you could pull off a really nice Risky Business." He wiggled his eyebrows and he got a slightly angered and confused expression in return. "It's a movie, Ziva! Haven't you ever seen Risky Business?"

"It sounds… risqué, is it not? Why would you need me in your boxers?" She immediately regretted the words that came out of her mouth, "one word and I will hurt you."

"Okay, okay, I'll let that one go." He described the movie to her and she feigned interest for about half of the summary and finally gave up.

"This is a typical American teenage boy thinking he can do whatever he wants and then he is sprung back to reality when he realizes he cannot, yes?"

"I think you mean snapped back to reality, but yes, pretty much." Their tea was nearly finished and he was clearing the table. "It's a classic! We should watch it."

"Right now? It's almost two in the morning!" She let him finish cleaning, comfortably warm in both clothes and with a warm stomach. She moved the couch to get out of his way and wait for him to take her home.

"Well I didn't say right now, but we should watch it eventually." He finished and headed towards his bedroom, leaving her to relax on the couch. "Give me a few minutes and let me throw on something warmer so I don't completely freeze out there." He disappeared for a few minutes, throwing on some sweats and a sweatshirt and searching for his shoes. Hearing the rain hit the window he called out to his partner, "it's still raining pretty bad out there, did you want a jacket, yours is soaked through." No answer. "Ziva?" When she didn't reply he wandered back to the living room to find her asleep on the couch. "Well that explains it."

He quietly put the extra jacket and his shoes down on the seat beside the couch and walked towards the sleeping ninja. He stared at her for a second to see if she would wake up and when she didn't he went back to his bedroom. He fixed the bedding and sheets slightly and left the covers open, stealing a pillow and a blanket for himself for the couch. He placed his night's bedding on the floor beside the couch and then took a deep breath before attempting what he wanted to do next. With the utmost precision and attempted stealth he lifted the sleeping ninja in his arms and carried her to his bed. Amazed that she was still asleep he covered her with the blankets and retreated to the couch, closing the door behind him.

Ziva awoke a while later, rain still pouring outside she had lost the concept of time. She rolled over, confused by the décor, and suddenly realized she was not in her own bed. She quickly checked to see if she was alone, and to her surprised she was. _I must have fallen asleep. I suppose Tony had carried me in here?_ She entered the living room and saw Tony fast asleep on the couch and she smiled to herself. _Chivalry is not dead_, she mused. Walking towards the kitchen, trying to be careful not wake him she tripped over his shoes.

"Who's there?!" he jumped up quickly, his hand reflexively going to his hip for his sidearm.

"It is me, Tony. I'm sorry, I did not mean to wake you."

Fog lifting from his mind he remembered why Ziva was in his apartment. "Oh no, it's okay. Sorry I didn't take you home, you just looked really beat." He stood up, running his hand through his hair. "I threw your clothes through the laundry before I went to sleep. Couldn't get to sleep first so I was up long enough to put them in the dryer. They should be done by now." He looked at the clock he had hanging on the wall. 0800. "Wow, we really did knock out."

"I guess I should be going then," she stood there almost awkwardly. "I'm sure you have things to do today."

"Actually," he went to get her things from the dryer, "since we have this weekend off I was planning just to lounge around the house. Tim and I are going out later, but that's not till this afternoon." Not knowing what her response should be she continued to stand there. In his living room. In his clothes. This isn't how he had thought _this_ would ever happen. "Anyway, if you want you can hang out here with me? I can make us some breakfast, I'm sure I have something here that's not expired yet…" he scratched his head and looked around playfully and she gave him a small laugh.

"Well. I supposed I can _lounge_ for one day. Chores will still be there tomorrow."

"Exactly!" He was suddenly had a lot more energy. "I can start breakfast and how about you pick something to watch? Remotes on the table or," he took two giant steps to a very large wall cabinet, "you can go through my little collection of DVDs!"

She gasped at the hundreds of titles, but what else did she expect from the resident movie buff?

The next 30 minutes passed by with Ziva calling out movie titles and Tony giving his brief, or not so brief summary. By the time she had picked a movie, she kept the title secret, breakfast was ready and they sat to enjoy omelets and juice.

"Not bad, huh? I can cook well enough to… well, almost take care of myself." She flashed her a grin.

"If this is 'taking care' then yes, you do it quite well. Though, I can understand why that round figure of yours is coming from."

"Are you insulting my cooking, Miss David?"

"Tony! Your omelet has more bacon, ham and sausage than there is egg!" She laughed and took another bite of her own food.

"Well you weren't complaining when you practically inhaled the first few bites of your breakfast."

"No, I'm not complaining now either, it is merely an observation."

"Yeah, yeah," he feigned hurt but moved on quickly. "So what movie did you pick out?"

With a mouthful of food Ziva shook her head with a gleam in her eye. "You will see. It is in the DVD player for when we are through eating." Before the words even finished leaving her mouth Tony had jumped over furniture to see her secretive selection.

"Yes! You went with Risky Business! Oh man, I haven't seen this movie in ages!"

Ziva laughed as her partner jumped on the couch, playing air guitar and gyrating his hips. "I am just going to assume that whatever you are… attempting to do right now is from the movie?"

"Oh, Ziva, you have no idea, it's an iconic scene."

"And so you see, Probie, we were watching, and laughing, and mimicking, and, well, she already had the shirt and the socks, so we just kinda went with it!"

McGee stared at the senior field agent as if he was insane. Which was partially true. "So… she had a bad night… wore your clothes.. Slept in your bed… you made her breakfast…" McGee's brain was slow at computing, but an impressed grin crept over his face as he processed the facts. "Well, Tony," he clapped him on the shoulder, "you are definitely more of a gentleman than I thought!" Tony looked confused. "Breakfast in the morning? Classy." Tony smacked McGee upside the head.

"Ok, McNosey, enough with the questions!"

"I didn't ask any questions. And you've overused McNosey." Knowing what kind of blackmail reward he could get with the mere mental picture of what just happened Tim was a very confident man.

"You know what I mean!" Tony paused. "Overused? Really? I didn't think I used it too much."

"I thought if you were going to reuse and recycle you'd go with McRomeo, possibly McLovin, you know, stay with the theme of the conversation." He loved getting Tony off-track.

"Wow, those are good ones too. You remember all these? Remember that time-" he shook his head, cutting himself off. "I know what you're doing! Focus, Probie!"

"Oh, I'm focused all right. I'm just not too sure how what to ask for."

"For what?"

"My silence." A huge grin was plastered on McGee's face.

"C'mon, Tim! Timmy!" Tony laughed and put his arm around McGees shoulder, clapping his back as he did. "It's not a big deal! Let's just forget about it, kay?" Tim shook his head.

"It's not everyday I walk into your apartment to Ziva sitting on top of you." He paused. "Okay, there was that one time, but she had one hand around your neck and you were turning purple so I let it go."

"Yeah, that's for the lack of help, by the way," Tony subconsciously rubbed his neck at the memory of the misunderstanding based on language barriers.

"But _today_ she was in your shirt, underwear and boxers…"

It was that moment that Ziva, now wearing her clothes from the dryer, brushed by the arguing men, stopping only for a moment to address McGee.

"If you tell anyone, I will cut out your tongue." With that she hastily exited the apartment.

"Well," now McGee was at a loss for words, "I don't even know where to go from here."

Tony shrugged, finally stepping aside to let the younger agent inside, "No guilt, no doubts, no fear. None of my specialties…. Just the shameless pursuit of immediate gratification…" He sighed slightly with an amused smile playing on his face.

"..Am I supposed to understand that?" McGee glanced questionably at the spot in the wall that Tony was staring at, apparently lost in his own thoughts.

"Nah, Probie," he shook his head, finally out of the stupor the entire situation had left him in, "sometimes this life is just risqué business."

McGee just rolled his eyes and laughed.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading, reviews greatly loved. :) I'm sorry if this seems rushed, I was really excited to write it and when I got about 3/4 done I lost interest and had to power through it. Please let me know what you think.**


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